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I was wondering the other day where all the grannies had gone. I don't mean the people who are grannies because they
have grandchildren, but the ones who used to be about when I was younger. I think a granny ought to look a certain way, so that it sticks out a mile that she is one. Ideally she should be smallish and round - comfy and cosy. It would be nice if she sat in a rocking chair and crocheted. By a warm fire - a real one - not your posh electric or gas ones with artificial flames and logs. I think she ought to wear her slippers, and have a canary in a cage, and a window sill with geraniums. Her hair would be that snowy-white that shows up a pale pink skin and very bright eyes, and she'd smile a lot. I forgot the cat. There should be a cat purring by the fire. The kettle would always be ready to make a pot of tea, and there would be home-made cakes. The trouble as I see it is that today's grannies all look wrong. They don't have white hair any more -they have a rinse. They wear make-up and have National Health teeth and go dashing about playing bingo, and don't sit and be cosy anymore. My grannies would have time to listen to one's grumbles and make soothing noises, and when you touched them, they would be soft and yielding, like cushions. The modern ones are all slimline and brittle, and are too busy moving about the place. , I think we should set about seeing if we can't bring back the Old-Time Granny. There's a need for them - they've left a huge gap in our lives. We can all do with somewhere and somebody we can go to and be 'cosy' every so often. Still, perhaps nobody but me feels this way. I suppose I'm always thinking backwards instead of forwards, but I'd still like my Old Grannies back again. It's a sobering thought that I may be a granny myself one day, though. At the moment, I don't fancy sitting and rocking, with a cat or anything else. Or crocheting and making pots of tea and little buns, and smiling all the time and being cosy. I think I would want to head for the great outdoors and the bingo hall, and have my hair and teeth fixed, too. I suppose, if the experts are right and we're all going to live longer than ever before, my Old Grannies are completely redundant. No, I've just got to face the facts, stop going backwards and move with the times. I shall try to put the idea out of my mind. Margaret Cregan